illustration of a woman - Is she using me for money?

is she using me for money? 10 signs to watch out for

by Kevin Tunstall
Updated on

You just started dating this girl and now you can’t help but wonder, Is she using me for money?

It is difficult to spot if a girl is using you for cash especially if you are crazy about her.

People spend years without realizing that they are being exploited by their partners.

Love can cloud your judgment but if you pay attention to these 10 signs you can easily find if you are being used or not.

1. she never offers to pay

If you are the one who always ends up paying for all your dates and outings then it’s time to get a little cautious.

It is completely fine to pay the bill on some occasions especially if you have just started going out with her.

But if you have been seeing each other for a while yet she never offers to pay the bill or split it then there is something wrong.

You are the one who always takes her on a date, you pay for her food, you pay for her clothes, you pay for her other essentials.

If all this happens to you then this is a clear indication that you are being used.

2. What makes her happy?

check what are her happiest moments? if they are all connected to your wallet then she probably loves your money more than you.

what makes her happier, you spending time with her, doing something special for her or expensive gifts and shopping.

If it’s the latter then you are probably with the wrong girl

It can be a little difficult to catch but try to find the things that make her happy and if they are all connected to your wallet then you should be a little worried.

3. she lacks ambitions and goals

If she has no ambitions and career goals then that is a huge red flag according to me.

Any girl with self-respect and dignity would have her own financial or career goals and if she has none then she is probably after your money.

Try having a discussion with her about her career and ambitions, if she has no goals whatsoever then there is a very good chance that she is with you just for your money.

Keep in mind, this doesn’t mean she has to have her whole life figured out but she should at least be trying to be financially self-reliant

4. look into her dating history

Another clear sign to know if she is a gold digger is to check her dating history.

If she has only dated rich or influential people in the past that it should be pretty clear to you that she values money more than love.

Has she has been with old or married men for their money then you should definitely run away?

5. she ignores all your shortcomings

Well, this one is just basic common sense.

If she is way out of your league or maybe you are married yet she chose to go out with you then chances are she is eyeing your money.

One might argue that maybe she genuinely loves you and that is the reason she doesn’t care about your shortcomings.

This could be true in some cases but more often than not this is a clear sign that she might be using you

6. your relationship is surface level

Another telltale sign she is using you for money is that your relationship is surface level.

You would know if you are in a superficial relationship if

  • You don’t have fights
  • you avoid deep conversations
  • you are afraid to make big plans together
  • you dont know each other’s priorities and values in life
  • there is a lack of trust in your relationship

These are some basic things that should be present in every serious relationship unless you have been dating for less than a couple of months.

If you have been with her for some time now and still face these kinds of problems then chances are your relationship is superficial and she is with you just for the money.

7. has she ever cautioned you about your spending habits?

Do You give her expensive gifts and take her out to fancy restaurants yet she never questions your spending habits?

 If a girl loves you and sees her future with you, she will be concerned about your spending habits.

On the other hand, if she is with you for your money then obviously she would want you to spend more money on her and would never tell you to create a budget or monitor your expenses.

8. she is living beyond her means

If she is living beyond her means then you should be a little careful.

It is completely okay to indulge in expensive things once in a while, but if she regularly spends more than she can afford according to her income then it should be obvious to you that she is using you to fulfill her financial needs.

You shouldn’t be providing for her basic expenses.

As an adult, she should plan her finances based on her income and should not rely on you to take care of her bills.

9. check your expenses

This is probably the first thing you should do if you have this doubt in mind.

Go through your monthly expenses for the past few months and see how much money you are spending on her.

See how many times you have lent her money, how many times you paid for the dinner, how much you have spent on gifts for her, and so on.

Start keeping track of where your money goes if you are not doing it already.

By keeping track of your expenses you’ll be able to find if you are spending a lot of money on her without realizing it.

If you do find that you are spending a lot on her then perhaps it’s time to get a little more careful with your money.

10. don’t give her money for some time

Consider this to be the ultimate test.

You should use this if you are not sure about her motives even after checking for all the other signs.

What you’ve got to do is just stop giving her money for some time.

Tell her you are not doing well financially or just make up some excuse and don’t give her any money.

If she is with you for the money then this test will definitely make it very clear.

If you start fighting more often or she is just not that into you anymore after doing this for some time then you can safely assume she was only after your money all this time.

The Bottom Line:

It could sometimes be difficult to know if the girl that you’ve been going out with is really interested in you or has some other ulterior motives.

These 10 signs will help you find if she is using you for money.

And if you do find her using you then the best thing to do is just get her out of your life ASAP.

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About the author

Kevin Tunstall

Kevin is a Men's dating and image consultant. He writes about relationships and lifestyle-related topics on Dapperclan. He loves helping men improve themselves and to achieve meaningful relationships.


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