Is she using me for emotional support?

by Kevin Tunstall
Updated on

Do you often find yourself asking, Is she using me for emotional support?

Being in a relationship with an emotionally manipulative partner can be extremely detrimental to your mental health.

It could sometimes be tricky to know for sure that you are being used.

With the help of these 10 signs, you’ll be able to find if she is using you for emotional support or not.

10 Signs she Is Using You For Emotional Support

1. She just got out of a serious relationship

If she recently got out of a serious relationship then that should be a big red flag for you.

she would probably get into a rebound relationship with you and use you for emotional support.

It’s always better to avoid going out with someone who is not completely over their previous relationship.

If you know she has broken up recently then it’s better to give her some time to move on before you start going out with her.

2. She doesn’t want any commitments

If she wants to be with you but is also scared of committing then that could mean that she is using you for emotional support.

She doesn’t want to make any long-term plans with you but also doesn’t want to leave you, this clearly indicates that she is using you emotionally.

she is not sure about her future with you. She avoids labels by giving silly excuses

3. You dont have deep conversations

The Foundation of any strong relationship is good communication

if all your conversations are surface-level only then you should be a little worried.

You guys don’t dive into intense conversations, there’s nothing that makes you feel emotionally connected to her.

She doesn’t talk about anything personal rather she talks about her professional life and the problems she faces in it.

If you’ve been with her for a while and still don’t know about her past, her values and her ambitions, etc. then your relationship is very shallow, and it’s time to do something about it.

4. Inconsistent behavior

she has inconsistent behavior, she goes from hot to cold very soon.

She confuses you by her changing behavior. Sometimes this can make you feel very unforgettable and scary at the same time.

The person is not emotionally available to you if they make you feel safe and comfortable for one day and disappear for a week.

And this rough behavior can prove to be damaging for you as no one wants to feel like they are jerked around.

5. She only talks about her problems

She is always talking about her problems and when you have a problem to share she acts completely disinterested.

This is a clear sign that you are getting used for emotional support.

If she only comes to you to alleviate her own issues but never has time to listen to your problems then you need to get out of this relationship.

6. She bails on you with bad excuses

Does she bail on you with stupid excuses frequently?

It’s normal to cancel a few plans sometimes but if it is a regular occurrence for her that too without providing any good reason then you should get cautious.

This could mean that she avoids spending time with you and only comes to you when she needs you.

if a girl genuinely, loves you, she would make compromises, she would take time out for her partner irrespective of her situation or extremely busy schedule. 

7. She never put effort to make plans

She considers this relationship as her job. She fulfills all the responsibilities as if she is performing a task.

Does she ever make any efforts to plan something for you two?

Does she ever do something to make you feel appreciated?

If she doesn’t put any effort into your relationship and never does anything to make you feel special then you are just an emotional dumpster for her.

8. She’s always craving attention

She connects drama with intimacy.

She likes you to chase her, she loves when you run after her all the time but she doesn’t want to chase you or run after you even once or twice.

This is a clear sign of emotional manipulation.

she likes to be the center of attention and wants everything to be about her.

If this sounds familiar to you then you are in big trouble and you should get out of this relationship as soon as you can.

9. She storms off after small arguments

Arguments and fights are part of a relationship and dealing with them together make your relationship stronger.

If she storms off after every little argument or fight instead of talking through it then it could be a sign that she is using you emotionally.

If she just ignores you whenever you have a conflict instead of resolving it then you should know that this relationship isn’t going to work.

10. You feel something is not right

You feel something is not right.

You usually have intuitions that something is going wrong between you guys but, you’re not sure what? Internally you feel she is using you emotionally but, you can’t say anything about it.

If you are getting this doubt then it’s clear that there is something wrong in your relationship and it needs some work.

You might not always be right but, if this thought trouble you a lot then, there’s something wrong and you better do something about it.

why is your partner using you? 

Why a girl you love and adore decides to take advantage of you?

What encourages her to misbehave with you? What motivates her to break your heart?

Here are some of the most common reasons why she could be using you for

  • To get your attention: Some people like to adore themselves and, the appreciation, compliments and attention they get from others help them to boost their egos and self-confidence and to them playing with others feeling isnt a big deal as long as their life is going good.
  • To make their ex jealous: As we have talked earlier dating someone who just got out of a relationship is a bad idea. Some people are not over their exes even after weeks or months after their breakup and, to make them jealous they might flaunt you in front of their exes just to prove that they have happily moved on from them.
  • To get a support system: Humans are social beings and everyone of us need people in our lives who can support us emotionally. Some people get into relationships just to get someone to share their emotional burdens with. They might want you to solve their problems, always have their back, help them relax, and cheer them up. 
  • Some people use others just for the sake of having sexual intercourse and to meet their physical urges. 
  • And, the most common reason is to have high life. Money can make them happy, so they use others for money. 

the bottomline: 

People use others for emotional support sometimes knowingly and sometimes unknowingly too.

With the help of these signs, you should be able to find if she is using you or not.

If you think you are being used by your partner for emotional support then the best solution in that situation is to get out of that relationship.

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About the author

Kevin Tunstall

Kevin is a Men's dating and image consultant. He writes about relationships and lifestyle-related topics on Dapperclan. He loves helping men improve themselves and to achieve meaningful relationships.


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